way back

I want to go back to our first met
To that silly small talks
To that weird questions you asked
And to that not-wise-enough answers you get

I want to sit with you under the stars once more,
I want to hear our bad voices through the guitar tones
I want to shut my eyes next to you

 i want to fall in love again,
But then.. i forget how far i go
And how you do your best to wait for me
But, leaving is the only way for us to find our back home right?

?

maybe i'm just a sort of a mess
or a bunch of it
maybe the whole world is not belong to me
or i don't belong anywhere
maybe this is sounds pathetic
or i sounds hopeless

malam

kau selalu bertanya pada ku,
apa yang membuat ku terjaga
ku jawab malam
lalu,
kau tanya pada ku mengapa malam membuat ku terjaga
hendak ku hela nafasku lalu kujawab
kau...
kau lah penyebab kerumunan di kepala ini
kau yang selalu membuat ku menunggu malam menyudahi kekhawatiran ini.
jawabannya, kau.

mungkin saja

mungkin saja aku memikirkan mu
tapi
mungkin saja kau disana memikirkan ku juga
atau
mungkin saja kau melahap semua rasa rindu mu
dengan seteguk minuman itu
lalu mungkin saja kau mabuk
dan mungkin saja aku seharusnya ada disana
lalu mungkin saja kita bisa memperbaiki semua kemungkinan ini.

entah

dan seperti ini saja hidup ku
terasik di dunia ku sendiri
lalu entah
aku terusik akan kedatangan orang baru
dan merasa berbeda
terasingkan oleh niat buruk ku sendiri
lalu habis dilahap oleh ombak.

lalu

dan lalu,
biar kan kita terpisah
meski tak ada jarak yang memisahkan
biar saja rindu meracuni kita berdua
entah, pulang atau tidak
yang jelas, rindu tau
cara kembali ke dalam pelukan.

addicted

doesn't it terrify you?
when something bad feels so good
and you become so addicted for somehow

you know the risks yet you still standing there
hoping for it will change
yet you know it won't

life

they say live your life like the way you breathing
we don't always breath the most pure air like oxygen
there are lot of different things that bad for us
yet we still alive and still let them come into our lungs
it may hurt, but we never know until we had enough


and then we feel numb
and slowly die.

windy

do you remember?
those windy days we spent
we were sitting next to each other
no conversation
just the wind that touched every part of us.

sincere

jika cinta itu tulus

ia tak akan mau meminta

apalagi memaksa

jika cinta itu tulus

tak banyak waktu untuk mengeluh

menunggu sudahlah hal yang terbiasa

jika cinta itu tulus

ia tak kan sedih bila tak berbalas

tapi mengharapkan sesuatu yang baik

Alasan

mungkin sebab kita berpisah adalah
aku tak cukup baik untuk mu
atau, kau tak cukup baik untuk ku
mungkin sebab kita berpisah adalah
kau terhanyut dalam indahnya nuansa berdua
sementara aku, terdampar di dunia sendiri.

ada yang berjuang mati-matian untuk terikat di suatu hubungan
ada yang meragu tak kunjung usai untuk memulai
sementara ada juga muda dan mudi yang berjalan tanpa arah
melainkan tertawa menikmati indahnya senja.

walls

i have grown a lot of walls right after i was born
the first is this world,
i heard a lot of bad things happened while i'm inside.
then the second is the human,
i passed a lot of human with no humanity.
then the last one is you,
i drown so deep till i can't breathe.

"i realized that i'm lost while i'm saving other life."

tahun baru

detik terasa berdentang
kini tiada lagi kata pergi
tapi selamat
selamat, kamu yang telah terlupakan dimasa lalu
harum mu meninggalkan hati ku dengan sempurna
selamat, kamu yang datang akhirnya
bibir yang tipis itu mungkin akan menciptakan kenangan
selamat, entah siapa pun kamu.

syair

kamu itu syair
yang setiap baitnya terungkap makna

tanpa kepala mu,
mungkin aku hilang arah
tanpa hati mu,
mungkin aku hilang rasa
tanpa raga mu,
mungkin aku hilang jiwa

kamu itu syair,
tanpa degungan mu
dunia ini tak ada bahasa

Frida kahlo's

Frida kahlo's by adelladey on Polyvore

what we supposed to do

halooooooo

so lately my mind gone very mess. i don't even understand the theory that

"we don't always fall in love with the most suitable people, do we?"
-- Ken Follet, Winter of The World.

i do like a nice warm-hearted gentleman, but when it comes to love, we can't choose who will fill our loneliness. i mean our heart, you can be with someone that makes you happy but you will spend your whole lifetime with the one who can makes you both happy and sad. am i right? love wasn't supposed to be full of happiness, for me love is when you crave the whole of his/her world in front of their eyes. you want it so bad, but you have to do good. as i feel right now, loving someone who's hurting me so bad, is a kind of bliss that i could not resist, the sweet smiles fill up my coffee cup every morning, and the worst attitudes, fill my gloomy sky by the end of the day. it's pretty hurt. it's like wearing a sweater, sometimes you get warm feeling, and then the materials makes you itchy. However, we can't choose who we need in life. your heart tells the most pure truth than your mind would escape. God has a reason why we should suffering this pain in the ass. for me i'd like to believe that whatever will be, will be. no matter how much it hurts, enjoy it. but, when you know there are so much impossibilities between you both, it is the time, the time that you tell yourself you had enough, it does not meant that you gave up, but you had enough. not because you're not enough for them, but sometimes when we hold something tightly, it will cause more damage. some people are like gravity, they pull you back, no matter how far you've try to forget. i know i'm in love when i fall for that people everyday, and all i can do is just enjoy it. love is a drug, no matter how bad it is, some people will still chase for it.

best regards,

your clarissa.

home

maybe home is nothing but,
the way you sip your coffee in the middle of the night
the way they put a lot of syrup on your pancake
the way you smell the fresh air when you wake up
the way you finally jump to your bed
the way you light up your candle
the way you open the fridge
the way you crawling to bathroom
the way you dancing in front of mirror
the way you open a window

maybe a home is nothing but,
the way you look at me
and smile, then that beautiful smirk
killing me slowly
and you leave
a bliss i could not resist.

ikatan

aku sadar,
pada akhirnya genggaman ini
akan terasa panas
bukan lagi hangat

kau pergi, menjadi dingin
sunyi dan tak berdetak
terhembus oleh waktu

aku sadar, semakin ku mendekap mu
semakin kau tak bernafas
dan hilang begitu saja, tanpa bersuara

aku sadar, tali yang ku ikat
kian usang, tak layak
untuk kau ikatkan
di jemari mu
yang pernah hangat itu.